Never say never…

I still pinch myself every day.

I am amazed, and humbled at the way in which the Universe has brought my beloved and I together, like the hum of the bees on a warm spring afternoon, like camembert and quince paste, like the stars and the moon, we just go together. And in such a short period of time we have come to understand that we were just made for one another. I see my light in Ura and he sees his light in me. Indeed, it is becoming apparent to me that my entire life, I’ve been in preparation without even knowing it, for the relationship of my life: the Sacred Relationship with my twin flame.

Now, I have to be honest. I had read much about the Twin Flames after stumbling across it doing research around my own numerology in 2011 after discovering I was an 11. The Twin Flame sounded like a spiritual fairytale, a myth, the holy grail or, for me, an impossible dream. Whatever it was, my mind believed that this wasn’t my destiny this lifetime. Deep down I had dismissed it as a bit ‘chocolate box’ for my liking and it sat in the unattainable basket for me, this lifetime. How wrong was I. My heart knew differently.

Had you sat down and told me 8 weeks ago that I would be living with the love of my life, I would have dismissed it entirely and laughed, hard. I believed I had honestly explored and felt deeply into the concept of another relationship which, to be truthful, didn’t appeal at all – based on what I knew, of course. I had been openly vocal around the fact that I had come to the conclusion that I was not meant to be with anyone in a traditional sense again. Two marriages, and countless dates will do that to you. The idea of the Twin Flame was cute, I thought, but really not for me. So you can imagine my surprise when just 3 days in, both Ura and I became acutely aware that this was no ordinary relationship, we were both embarking on something completely different after a very similar journey had by each of us. We realised that ours was a spiritual partnership a deep, heartfelt knowledge that we were meant to meet and that we had work to do together.

Gary Zukav, author of 4 consecutive New York Times Best selling books, explains a Spiritual Partnership as a partnership between people who promise to use all of their experiences in order to grow, and thereby create constructive, healthy and joyful consequences in their relationship rather than destructive and unhealthy and painful consequences. Sounds good! According to Gary, Spiritual partners use their delightful experiences together as well as their power struggles to learn about themselves and change themselves. This is a new way to live. A new way to create together. A new way to evolve together. Both Ura and I have heard the inner call around this kind of partnership, and in essence, have both recognised that we have been preparing for this individually, long before we ever met. Indeed, we both firmly believe we met many lifetimes ago and found one another again in this life time, and fortunately, we were successful. We are delighted to be able to be given another chance – both of us – at making love work in a spiritual partnership.

We’ve spent the last week merging our belongings and our lives together, a time that tests even the most patient of souls. A massive truck organised to transport belongings into a tiny apartment, which Ura has affectionately called The Tardis … it somehow managed to swallow everything up and it looks like we have been together for years. Quite extraordinary, really. And while the idea of children between us is definitely off the cards (yes the kids have already asked!!), we will be doing a lot of co-creating together, and birthing all manner of new projects and experiences with the purpose of our collective evolvement in mind. Indeed, this evening we are both heading off to Urban Art Binge http://www.urbanartbinge.com/ to satisfy my love of art and unlock creative potential in both of us. What an exciting life awaits for us!

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Blessed are those who laugh at themselves…

A wonderful quote popped up on my Facebook wall last night, and it resonated deeply within me:

Blessed are those who laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused ~ Unknown

What words of wisdom are contained that are unattributable, for that person really did consider deeply the power of humour as the greatest healer.

Two nights ago I had a wonderful evening with dear friends watching a number of seriously talented and very funny comedians bring around 700 people to their knees with mirth over what it was to grow up in a migrant family in Australia via Comicus Erectus. Five incredibly talented Mediterranean men who each shared their intimate and vulnerable truths via the chattels of humour detailing what life was like as a child of a migrant family. These truths were not only representative of my friends at school, growing up, but – it dawned on me – also mirrored the memories my ex husband had growing up too. Suddenly, everything made so much sense to me. Suddenly I realised a lot of things and though it has been 18 months, and there has been a lot of water under the bridge, for the first time, I was able to reach through a portal of understanding, to forgiveness to my ex husband for the wrong done and I reached that point through laughter, in the absence of the individual I felt wronged by. Nevertheless, it was still exceedingly powerful.

Through tears of joy, and gut busting laughter and the litany of home truths shared, one after the other, after the other, it occurred to me that the entire audience was being healed of their own pain, anguish, embarrassments, and were literally being validated by these incredible men in their honest portrayal of life growing up. It also dawned on me that if I had been able to reach this point, as a non-migrant, married to an ethnic man, that perhaps our son would also be touched the same way: through comedy and humour, to reach deep into the soul and help move him through to forgiveness, just as it had done with me the night before.

I have had such an interesting life journey, none more interesting than the past 18 months where my spiritual lessons have increased twenty-fold. Where suddenly so many things are falling into place, and where I have been able to enjoy the grace and ease of a beautiful existence, totally in love with life and my lover.

On a journey as I have been on – the fast-track to heaven as I’ve been known to call it, I have enough knowledge within to know that it was very important for my own development to move through to forgiveness as and when I could, because without that I would be shackled by my own self-made prison cells. Even so, it was difficult to ask that of myself. I never asked to be abused physically and verbally in a way that ended a marriage of ten years, and certainly never in front of my children. How does one get to that point of forgiveness when violence has been experienced and witnessed in such a way? I didn’t know the answer to that, but I did know that it was something to aspire to… when the time was right. How auspicious then, when afflicted with the flu, and tired and run down from a hot and heavy move of my lovers’ belongings into my new home that we should accept the offer to join them, at the Greek Club for a night of entertaining humour. Who knew that this night, the evening my lover moved into mine, that I would be released of resentment through such incredibly funny anecdotes, reflective of the experiences I had had in the 10 years’ prior that helped explain a lot of the foibles and misunderstandings away.

I felt that if I had been able to reach this point, then, very possibly my son, who is on his own journey in life, might also be able to reach a point of forgiveness towards his father in the same way I had. I purchased their DVDs and gave them to my son, who to my delight was also seen rolling around the living room floor in stitches at life as a migrant kid. As far as forgiveness goes, who knows, but I could see that the humour had reached a special place deep in my son’s heart and soul, and for me, that is absolutely priceless.

Inner work, on a spiritual journey, doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, or doom and gloom. It doesn’t have to involve a church, or abstinence, or silence, or any of those things. Simple validation using humour as the vehicle to reach a point of acceptance has proven just as enlightening as a week long sojourn in the Bali hills. Namaste.

 

A Poem in Flow

Cascading waterfalls of sunlight
Touch the glistening trees
Whispering I love you
Like a lovers caress on a Winter afternoon
The river flows by
A reminder of the endlessness of truth
Captivating my soul
Sending light where shadows
Once appeared
If I squint my ears I can make out the sounds
Of your beating heart
As I smell the fragrance of your voice
Telling me everything is as it should be

Pj

Your Touch

Your touch
like a resplendent memory 
that washes over me and holds my soul
gently, reminding me of an ancient love held true

Your kiss
like a peaceful dew that 
settles on the grass on a Winter morning
reflecting the magnificence of everything

Your love
like the warmth of the sun’s rays
lights everything in its path and nothing is ever the same again
Nor would I want it to be

Petah-Jane Hall

A day is like a week….

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What an amazing week I have had.

Who would have imagined that today I would be sitting here – having found the love of my life, my Twin Flame, someone who is my absolute vibrational match on every level, who just adds to my already complete life, nourishes, nurtures me and only whats what is best. Who honours, trusts, and loves me unconditionally who literally is my other half. The other part of me I have been searching for, sometimes aimlessly, all my life.

What started as an innocent friend connect on Facebook and a curious interest in the work that each of us does, had us talking online until 4am. After only 3 hours sleep, we reconvened and talked the whole of the next day and into the evening and talk again until 4am. And after the 3rd night and many wonderful discussions, laughter, disclosures and deep, honest sharing, we made an arrangement to meet. Throughout these discussions, it was very clear that we were merging in a very deep and energetic way, only to be confirmed when he asked me if I knew a dear friend Marnie. In fact, I worked closely with Marnie in my last role, a dear friend, who had embarked on her spiritual journey at roughly the same time I did when we attended a weekend workshop together in Landsborough for women, called Being Woman, which was just extraordinary in terms of the way it helped open and heal me and was deeply bonding for both Marnie & I. To think he had travelled to Carnarvon Gorge with her and other friends the year before. Even more profound than that, only hours before he raised her name, I had found a birthday card to me from Marnie which had just appeared on the lounge room floor for no apparent reason. It was curious because my birthday was 6 months prior. Odd. I chat openly to both men and women online all the time in a way that is open, honest and often in great depth, so on that level this was not new. But the connection to such a close friend, the birthday card and some other very deep and obscure synchronicities that had me suspecting that this was no ordinary connection and that I was meant to know this man. I had had it so wrong before, but deep down in the pit of my stomach it was unmistakeable. I felt that the universe was conspiring to make magic.

About two weeks before this, I had dreamed of a beautiful white wolf. I had forgotten about him as he had appeared to me at the Being Woman festival and without warning reappeared. I saw him three times throughout the week in various forms, and then became very aware of his energy here with me in my apartment, as I worked at my desk. As I spoke with Ura, I shared with him my feelings about my white wolf, an animal I felt deeply connected to and whose reappearance was extremely comforting then without warning, I heard him bark. A friendly, warm, deep and extremely loud bark, not dissimilar to a large dog who barks for joy when he realises someone is coming home. I smiled then wept because he awakened a deep memory of a time when Wolf and I were once connected. My wolf had returned to comfort and guide me and I felt deep sorrow for the fact that we could see one another, and could feel one another but were not able to penetrate the veil to connect deeply on this plane. I shared the experience with Ura. The wolf is a significant power animal on a spiritual plane and I started to realise the sequence of events experienced was no mistake.

What were the chances of meeting someone who had worked in the corporate world, a taste for the finer things, gratitude for the gifts of the earth, and having gone through deep transition and change resulting in a spiritual awakening as I have had. What were the chances of meeting someone who knew so much about their past life, was drawn to learning and knowing more about themselves and committed to growth and fulfilment, who loved crystals and knew all about his own zodiac, his rising signs and more… he was tall, married twice as I had been he was eloquent, had a breadth of life experience to share with a beautifully open and wonderful heart, a deep and rich and intelligent mind, and a kind and loving soul who was honest, strong, masculine and full of integrity. I was so deeply grateful for our connection, I offered Ure a beautiful song in appreciation of our connection on his wall til we saw one another again “Gratitude” by Shastro & Nadama. A very rare Reiki song that is difficult to find, but is one of my favourites and really summed up what we had shared together over the past few days. I was genuinely grateful and honoured to meet such a kind and good person.

When we were not talking via Facebook, we were texting one another – without question, we were connected, energetically. We laughed a lot, and he sounded like someone I would really love to know, but I was worried about the translation from online sharing to real life I had had many experiences connecting with people online and had some disastrous experience and some not-so-disastrous experiences. The mind can really play tricks on you sometimes, especially when the ego takes over. While I’d actually made some quite good friends through my experiences, both male and female over the years, I knew not to have any expectations. I didn’t really know what to call this – was it a date, or was it a meeting? Was it a meeting, or a date? It wasn’t coffee, it was dinner. And the only reason for that was that coffee seemed redundant after the many hours we’d already invested in one another. I have a very strong and powerful feminine energy and had insisted that this was a meeting first then we’d see what would happen after that. But as I went through my beauty routine, applied my makeup and prepared myself to meet this incredible man I had connected with online, I could feel myself surrendering to the moment. I set my Facebook update “I’m going on a date!”… no matter how I wanted to look at it, this was a date and I was simply in flow. I had had it wrong before, but I was prepared to risk it again.

We met a beautiful restaurant locally – Byblos – he was half an hour early and for once I arrived 5 mins earlier than arranged too. Meeting in real life after chatting online is always a case of the soul waiting for the flesh to catch up and this was no different. We chose the restaurant because it was close, but also because we felt honoured our deep resonance with the Middle East that we both experienced and shared from many many lives ago. In addition to my wolf, I had been having numerous flashbacks involving a litany of countries throughout ancient Europe and in particular Ancient Egypt as well as Mesopotamia, Persia and further. We talked and chatted into the evening over a beautiful middle eastern vegetarian tapas meal. Just as we relaxed, feeling like the souls had caught up with the flesh, the very same song that I  rare and uniquely moving track suddenly started playing throughout the restaurant – an obscure track it really caught us by surprise and had us laughing heartily. We both knew that the universe was asking us to pay attention.

After dinner, we strolled to the car, and Ura reached out to me and put his arm around me. I felt warm and safe with an air of familiarity. We said little and as he turned to kiss me ever so gently, I received a message to say ‘this is a very different love, not to be compared with any other’. I pulled away and looked into his eyes, I had my hand on his shoulder and the message continued: ‘do not compare, for it will not compare. This is a very very different love’. I smiled, we kissed gently again and I drove home.

Ura’s energy stayed with me. I felt very much in flow. No angst, no worry, no base emotions, just peace and a feeling of contentment and joy washed over me. We had arranged to chat again online when we got to our homes and as I opened the laptop, I saw an image honouring the birthday of deceased artist Gustav Klimt “The Kiss” a gorgeous gold-leaf painting which was completed in 1907 and was well and truly before its time. I had seen it before, and I had loathed it, as it had shifted some very deep stuff within me. But this time… it was as if it had awakened a deep and welcome memory. The painting said everything about the energetic between us for the evening and what we’d shared before, and in gratitude, I posted a copy of it on his wall. Ura loved it, and agreed it captured us beautifully in that moment.

We agreed to meet the following evening and he took me to Mt Coot-tha for coffee and look down upon the city in all its glory with lights that spread far into the distance in all directions like jewels on a black cloth, it was so beautiful. We spent most of the evening together, talking and sharing, sharing and talking. As he dropped me to my home, he asked when he could see me again and I suggested that we meet perhaps for breakfast. 3 dates in 3 days, wow… it was amazing and I was just loving the time we spent and shared together: old souls catching up on lost time, that is for certain. It was uncanny the way we shared and it was as if there was a constant refrain ‘hey, me too’ from both of us, throughout our conversations. Endlessly. We felt an incredibly deep love emerging between us.

We went to breakfast, at a beautiful venue tucked away on the river, serene and beautiful, light and airy. Ura loved it. We continued to share at a deep level it was amazing we could have so much to say after knowing one another just 4 days. We  watched the breakfast crowd dwindle and slowly transform into lunchtime patrons and thought we’d better start moving. I received a reminder from our son that he was wanting to head to rock climbing and alluded to the fact I needed to pull away for a while. Ura offered to come and take him for a drive in the convertible and we could all go to rock climbing together. Okay, so not exactly how I was going to spend a 4th date, but hey I was in flow, right?

We went to rock climbing and afterwards to get a late afternoon snack as it had been some time since we’d eaten. I felt the urge to show him the window of a shop. I had no idea why, and we went for a quick walk. It was shut, but I asked if I could show him and cross the road anyway and perhaps we would see something inside. There, in the window, was a book … about Ancient Egypt – Sacred Sexuality. A topic very dear to both our hearts, and we just laughed. Another nod from the universe! Such an obscure, unusual topic at the best of times and to see a book on this, in the window, as if placed there especially for us, was extraordinary. We laughed and laughed, and as we drove home we realised that this book was a powerful acknowledgement of our meeting, and undertook to go and retrieve it the following day. We were meant to have that book. We went for a drive to the Gold Coast to pick up my daughter and as I had done with my son just an hour or two before, introduced him as my partner and explained to both the kids that I had found the man I was going to be with for the rest of my life.

It was that night that I asked him to stay, in the early hours we were blown away to discover a message from a school friend of mine. She had a copy of “the Kiss” – and it was no longer serving her needs and asked if I would like to have it. I was absolutely blown away and so was Ura. We spent the evening together and shared deeply and peacefully and consummated our incredibly special relationship and just enjoyed being man and woman together. It was so unbelievably beautiful and all it did was validate our time together. To think we had been offered a painting of “the Kiss” at the same time was deeply moving and evidence of the flow and abundance evident in the universe.

The next morning I received a message from my friend, she’d driven half way across town to give the painting to us, and was there, waiting to hand it to me. We couldn’t believe it. And naturally we were very grateful and so deeply moved that someone would do this for us. We’d known one another 5 days. We explained her the connection, I introduced Ura as my new love and we announced and professed our love for one another openly. This is what it was.

Afterwards, we headed back to West End, to the shop where we’d found the book on Ancient Egypt. And as suspected, Ura LOVED the shop and everything inside it, with esoteric titles, beautiful shamanic icons, stunning objet d’art, crystals and memorabilia with spiritual significance. Our eyes feasted on everything inside that shop and it was hard to pull away, in the corner of my eye, I saw a little glittering tarot deck in black and gold. I looked closer, and there, to my absolute astonishment, was a “Klimt Tarot Deck”. I could not believe my eyes and grabbed Ura’s attention. A Tarot deck with the exact same image as the painting we had been given that day! We just BURST out laughing and could not stop for at least 5 minutes, tears streaming down our faces … this was getting RIDICULOUS .. so so funny. I could hardly catch my breath. We were laughing so hard, everyone around us were laughing too, not knowing what we were laughing at, but smiling and laughing at our mirth anyway. WHAT were the chances of THAT!?? Naturally we bought the deck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had never owned a Tarot deck, but always wanted to. That night, in bed, Ura shuffled the deck then asked me to. I made an absolute mess of it, because I can’t shuffle to save myself, and handed them back to him where he organised them again, and split the deck in two for me. He said to me ‘now take the top card from the bottom half of the deck. Before you do, though, keep an open mind and ask the universe for what is in your highest good’. So, I did. After he separated the top half of the deck from the bottom half, I selected the top card that was facing me. And wouldn’t you know it, of all the cards in that Klimt deck, I selected no VI: The Lovers. Depicted by none less than Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss”…

Unbelievable.

Ura and I have been inseparable since the 3rd date. It’s been a week and two days since we first spoke. I have never ever felt such joy and peace and contentment with someone so pure of heart, with such a rich abundant soul who is energetically and without question my other half. I am home. No more searching. No more worrying. No more angst. No more wondering. No more ‘being single is easier’. I have found true love. And I am exceptionally grateful. So much crammed into such a short period of time… a day is like a week around me!

 

The Pharaoh & His Queen

I watched you
Watching me

If it were so, I didn’t want to be so bold
As to state out loud, yet you appear to know what you are here for.

My twin flame.

No expectations, just trust and recognition
And the quiet hum of the traffic passing
Says its going to be alright, like the melodic rhythm of your Heart

As Neptune and Uranus retrograde in a dance of joy and bliss, we knew that our souls were entwined many thousands of years ago.
So much to learn
Without having to change who we are
So much to embrace
Without having to hold on
So much to express
Without having to explain
This and more awaits for us in the now.
You know who I was
Who I am
And what I am to become
Serendipity led us here
Serenity takes us forward
The Pharaoh & his Queen

The Heart of the Matter…

So you can imagine my surprise when just out of the blue, I have begun to birth a new idea which has been suspended in the back of my mind for some time. Currently the energetics in my life are converging and bringing me immense joy and well being, for which I am incredibly grateful. It is as if the universe is conspiring to bring me to my purpose: that of connecting others.

I’ve known this for years and am naturally open, someone who is able to bring people together effortlessly in a way that is both meaningful and purposeful. Ask anyone who has attended one of the many barbecues I have held, the events I’ve put together at work, the invitations I’ve extended to friends for the children’s birthdays, right down to the two weddings in which I featured as Bride for the day (hahaha!). I am someone who has immense love of people, and humankind, who has enormous compassion and empathy for those that are feeling disconnected, dissatisfied and out of touch. In this day of hyper-technology, when ‘sharing’ and ‘liking’ are all par for the course, where we exist in a practically cashless society, and cannot function without the internet, where those little green lights on that modem you purchased recently are your beacon to the world and letting everyone know ‘you’re connected’. But are you, really?

With the internet about ready to explode with unprecedented use of social networks, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Instagram, Flickr to name a handful. Not to mention all manner of chat functions and new ways developing almost hourly for people to connect. What drives this social phenomenon, this insatiable appetite we have to reach out into nowhere anonymously and be seen? I think it is a symptom of a disconnected society and of a very primal human need to reach out to others.

Often this is done in a way that is lame, that’s awkward, lewd and often crude. But of the seemingly hundreds of people I connect with in my own way there is one common desire: to connect. People are desperately unhappy and never moreso than those who are aware that there must be more to life. That they are somehow missing something. Where most are just feeling disconnected.

For nearly 3 years, I personally have been through a constant and continual journey of Awakening which has spurned me to explore my boundaries and really understand who I am, no holes barred, no barriers allowed. I remember the weekend that it started, I remember the changes and the shifts within me. I remember my outlook changing, my priorities becoming clearer, though nothing like they are now with crystal being literally opaque in comparison! It is as if the Universe has responded with one hell of a correction, leaving no stone in my life unturned. I’ll write about that journey another time, but for now, I’m extremely excited. I believe I have discovered my true purpose.

Since the Venus Transit in June, it is as if a veil has lifted for me. Those who are not energetically or spiritually inclined may not completely understand but crept up on me unexpectedly. It was a very rare time where Venus is witnessed to travel across the face of the sun and it occurs once every 100 years. Planetarily speaking, this transit has immense significance, but at an energetic level, its had enormous impact on me personally and I have been bestowed with a depth of clarity and introspection on me and who I am that is almost humbling after a very long and difficult personal journey. I’ve been able to enjoy the reflections of connection with some extraordinary people who are continuing to gather along my Path supporting me, nurturing me, lifting me and guiding me towards that purpose with extraordinary momentum.

With the grace and humility of these incredible reflections, combined with some really unique treasured experiences, I see my true gifts: love, warmth, kindness, compassion, empathy, creativity, humour and authenticity. Naturally I also have been acquainted with my shadow side, the fears, neuroses, anxieties and negativity that has been responsible for holding me back from whom I was really meant to be. My negative self-image, my destructive inner voice, my seemingly incessant inner child and core wounding that was perpetuating some pretty unnecessary experiences. Thank god I woke up, is all I can say. Karma’s a bitch, particularly when you are responsible for repeating your own mistakes! Ha!

So now I am in this place which is extraordinary. I see things exactly as they are, with no filters, no ‘packaging’, no egoic frames of reference. I see patterns in everything (always have) and along with them, mostly, some very simple solutions. Without a desire to rescue the planet from its own journey, I know innately that I can be integral in helping the planet promote it’s own self healing: that of connecting with the Heart of the matter. And very simply, this is to connect. And connect meaningfully and doing so with others. In person. And thus “Soul Mates” has been born. A conscious way of connecting with others, face to face. I am not going to licence it, franchise it, or market it. I am simply going to enable others to come together and be the instigator to enable others to move forward and create, doing what they do best. Coming together with people who want to connect and in a meaningful way. I know my Path and now, I know my purpose and I will work towards that purpose every single day, because that is my destiny and what I am meant to do.

“Man lives his whole life trying to figure out the secrets of life only to realize in the end life was the secret.”  ~Terry Blakeman

Namaste.

Aside

“Until Such Time”… ~ Unknown Author

‘Until such time as we measure

Wealth in heartbeats, forests,

love, compassion,

children, honesty,

cups of tea,

beautiful words, music, self expression,

falling leaves, falling rain, falling tears,

reticulate veination, dew, truth,

closeness, intimacy, orgasms,

oceans,

wild water, wild wind, wild dreams,

trust, eye contact, memories,

shooting stars, stillness,

hope rising above despair,

colour and courage,

mist and mountains and waterfalls – we will remain poor.’

~Author unknown

Image

Love just Begun

Your gentleness,
Your loving gaze
Humbles me
In the softness of loves embrace
Your willingness and strength
Comforting in the confusion of a cold winter wind begging to be let in
Your strength and goodness washes over me and through me love’s reflected back at me whenever I look into your eyes
Each step is new now
Beautiful memories created just in being together
A journey of love
Just begun

~Pj